"Read this if…" you are experiencing gender-based violence, are concerned about someone else, or need to find a helpline, counsellor, medical service, shelter or legal service you can approach with greater confidence.

Seeking help may involve difficult decisions. Perhaps someone has told you that nobody will believe you. Perhaps you have had an unhelpful response before. Or perhaps you simply do not know where to start.

There is no single service that meets every need. What matters is finding support appropriate to your circumstances, understanding what it can offer, and making decisions with as much reliable information as possible.

If you are in immediate danger in South Africa, call SAPS on 10111 or dial 112 from a mobile phone. If speaking openly could place you at greater risk, prioritise whatever way of seeking emergency help is safest and available to you.

For broader advice on assessing organisations, see **How to Find a Trustworthy Support Organisation**. This article focuses on gender-based violence (GBV), including intimate-partner abuse, sexual violence and other forms of gender-related harm.

What trustworthy support should look like

A reliable service should treat you respectfully, take your concerns seriously and explain what it can — and cannot — do.

Positive signs include:

• You are listened to without blame. You do not have to tell your story perfectly or remember everything in chronological order to deserve a respectful response.
• The service explains confidentiality. Staff should tell you how information is recorded, who may see it and when disclosure may be required, for example when legal reporting or child-protection duties apply. They should not promise absolute secrecy if they cannot provide it.
• You are involved in decisions. Where possible, helpers explain your options and seek your informed consent before referrals, contact with other people or additional services.
• Your safety is considered. Workers take threats, surveillance, dependence, children and possible retaliation seriously rather than assuming that the same advice suits everyone.
• The limits of the service are clear. A helpline may offer counselling and referrals but not emergency transport, shelter beds or legal representation. Good helpers explain those limits honestly.
• Professional boundaries are respected. Staff do not ask for intimate favours, make personal demands or use your circumstances to gain power over you.
• Costs and eligibility are explained. If fees, documents, age restrictions or other conditions apply, you should be told before you commit.

A service can be legitimate and still be unable to give you everything you need. That is when a useful referral matters.

Warning signs when seeking help

Be cautious if someone offering assistance:

• blames you for violence committed against you, or insists that abuse must remain a private family matter;
• pressures you to return to someone who threatens or harms you without seriously considering your safety;
• contacts the person causing harm, shares identifying information or arranges a joint meeting without explaining the risks and seeking appropriate consent;
• promises guaranteed confidentiality, protection, accommodation or legal outcomes without explaining conditions and limitations;
• demands unexplained payments, asks for access to bank accounts or documents unrelated to the assistance offered, or makes sexual or personal demands;
• discourages you from seeking independent medical, legal or specialist advice; or
• dismisses language, disability, identity or accessibility needs rather than helping you find suitable assistance.

One uncomfortable conversation does not necessarily mean an organisation is fraudulent or unsafe. But you can ask questions, seek a second opinion, request another worker or look for another service. If you believe you are being exploited or placed in danger, you do not have to continue the interaction simply because someone claims to be helping.

Where to start in South Africa

The services below have official or publicly documented roles. Their inclusion is not a guarantee of availability, quality in every interaction or a specific outcome. Contact details and services can change, so DBTG should review them periodically.

You can also consult the Department of Justice GBV information portal. The GBV Command Centre's published SMS and callback options may be especially useful when a conventional telephone call is difficult, but do not assume that SMS, call logs or messages are hidden from someone who monitors your device.

A national contact may help you identify support closer to home. Ask what services are available in your area, whether they are currently operating, and whether you need an appointment or referral.

Which type of help do you need?

You may need more than one kind of assistance, but you do not have to organise everything at once.

When describing your situation, it is acceptable to begin with one sentence: “I am not safe at home and I need to understand what help is available.” You can ask the person receiving your call what information is necessary before sharing sensitive details.

Medical care after sexual violence: do not wait for a legal decision

If you have experienced sexual assault, seeking medical care promptly may be important even if you are unsure whether you want to report to the police.

A healthcare professional may assess injuries, discuss pregnancy prevention where relevant, offer testing and treatment for sexually transmitted infections, and explain forensic examination options.

HIV post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) is time-sensitive. South African Department of Health guidance says it should be started as soon as possible and within 72 hours of a possible exposure. A clinician will assess whether it is indicated. Other medical care may still be useful after that window has passed, so do not avoid seeking help because more time has elapsed.

Thuthuzela Care Centres are intended to bring medical and related support together for survivors of sexual violence. Availability and procedures differ by location. You can ask staff to explain examinations, consent, documentation and referral options. Medical care does not require you to have already decided to open a police case.

If possible, ask a healthcare professional what is time-sensitive in your situation rather than relying on general advice from social media or waiting for a support organisation to call back.

Legal support and protection orders

South African law provides mechanisms for seeking protection in domestic violence situations. A protection order may restrict particular conduct, and information on applying is available through the Department of Justice and magistrates' courts.

What is legally available depends on the facts and the applicable law. A support worker or qualified legal adviser can explain the process, possible risks, costs, paperwork and what happens after an application. Do not assume a particular result or that a protection order alone guarantees physical safety.

You may also need advice about children, housing, immigration status, financial support or other matters connected to the abuse. Those questions are better handled with an appropriate professional than by a general educational article.

What about evidence and records?

Records can help you explain what has happened, but your safety matters more than collecting evidence.

Depending on the situation, relevant information might include dates and descriptions of incidents, threatening messages, medical records or details of witnesses. A lawyer, police official or specialist support worker can advise which information may be useful for a particular process.

However, a person who monitors your phone, accounts, belongings or movements may discover notes, photographs, messages or searches for help. Even private browsing does not guarantee that activity is hidden.

You do not need to put yourself at risk to create a perfect record. If recording or storing information could expose you to retaliation, discuss safer options with a qualified support worker using a communication channel that you believe is safer.

Privacy and confidentiality: useful questions to ask

Before disclosing sensitive information, you can ask a service:

• Is this conversation confidential, and what are the exceptions?
• Will you keep notes or a case record? Who can access it?
• Could anyone contact me later, and can we agree on a safe way to communicate?
• Are you required to report anything involving children or an immediate danger?
• Will you contact police, family members or the person causing harm without discussing it with me first, except where a legal duty applies?
• If you cannot help, can you refer me to a suitable service nearby?

You might not be able to ask all these questions at once, particularly in an emergency. They are options for a conversation, not conditions you must satisfy before receiving assistance.

If you face extra barriers to getting help

Some people face additional obstacles because of disability, language, location, financial dependence, age, immigration circumstances, sexual orientation or gender identity.

You can ask whether a service offers interpretation, accessibility arrangements, assistance with transport, or referrals to organisations familiar with your particular circumstances. A national helpline may be a starting point, but may not be able to resolve every access problem.

If a worker does not understand your needs, it may be worth asking for another referral when safe and practical. A disappointing response from one service does not mean you are required to keep trying alone.

Preparing for a first contact

You do not need an organised account of every incident. If you can, think about what you most need the service to understand:

• What is happening now? You might describe violence, threats, controlling behaviour, sexual assault or another immediate concern.
• Are you and anyone dependent on you safe at present? Mention children or other people at risk if relevant.
• Can the service contact you safely? Say if your phone, messages or movements may be monitored.
• What help are you seeking first? Medical care, emergency response, someone to talk to, housing, legal information or another referral.

It is acceptable to say you are not sure what you need and ask what the service can offer. You can also ask for time to consider an option, except where urgent medical or emergency decisions need attention.

Final thought

Finding support after gender-based violence can involve uncertainty, waiting and difficult choices. A reliable service should explain its role, treat you respectfully and help you understand your options without pretending that one conversation can solve everything.

You deserve access to assistance that takes your safety and circumstances seriously. You do not have to provide a perfect account of what happened to deserve help.

Sources

The following South African sources support the service information, medical guidance and legal context in this article. The final reference provides general digital-safety guidance and is based outside South Africa.

• Department of Social Development — GBV Command Centre contacts. National GBV helpline, callback and SMS channels.
• South African Police Service — 10111 emergency service. Official police emergency information.
• National Prosecuting Authority — Thuthuzela Care Centres. Role and network of specialist centres.
• South African Department of Health — HIV post-exposure prophylaxis fact sheet. Time-sensitive HIV PEP guidance.
• Department of Justice — Domestic Violence. Domestic violence law, protection orders and services.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline — Internet Safety. General cautions about monitored technology; US-based guidance, not a South African emergency contact.