Why We Exist
This is why DBTG exists.
Bullying and gender-based violence cause real harm — and too often, people are left without the language to name what happened, ask for help, or interrupt conduct before it becomes a pattern.
We are not here to perform concern. We are here because prevention often starts with one honest conversation, one clearer article, one person who finally has words for what they have been living through.
DBTG is for people being harmed, people trying to help, and people willing to look honestly at their own conduct. We do not pretend every role carries the same responsibility. We do believe everyone is capable of learning.
Our Principles
DBTG believes that…
Harm should be recognised, not minimised.
Accountability and compassion can exist together.
Prevention begins with understanding.
Nobody is beyond learning.
Our Mission
A trusted learning hub for people trying to understand harm — and respond better.
Our mission is to help people recognise bullying, harassment, and emotional harm from every perspective: people being targeted, bystanders, parents, teachers, managers, and even those whose conduct needs interruption.
Knowledge alone does not solve bullying. But it is often the first step toward preventing it — and toward knowing what kind of help to ask for when information is not enough.
- Practical, evidence-informed reading — not vague encouragement to "do something."
- Learning lives here; schools, helplines, and trusted adults still matter most for hands-on help.
- Built to work alongside initiatives such as Lantern when support needs routing.
Highlights
- Practical, evidence-informed reading — not vague encouragement to "do something."
- Learning lives here; schools, helplines, and trusted adults still matter most for hands-on help.
- Built to work alongside initiatives such as Lantern when support needs routing.
Our Story
This project began when bullying hit home.
Don't Be THAT Guy started in 2018 after founder Kobus Myburgh's son was bullied at school. What followed was years of research, a presentation that became the project's name, and a public learning hub for victims, helpers, and anyone whose conduct needs interruption.
You do not need to know our names to use this site. But you should know it was built by people who have lived this problem up close — not marketers borrowing someone else's pain.
- Born from one family's search for safety, not a generic campaign.
- Still focused on victims, helpers, and preventing harm at the source.
- The personal story and the founding metaphor are told separately — each can stand on its own.
Highlights
- Born from one family's search for safety, not a generic campaign.
- Still focused on victims, helpers, and preventing harm at the source.
- The personal story and the founding metaphor are told separately — each can stand on its own.
Latest From The Hub
Recent reading across bullying and gender-based violence.
Healthy Disagreement vs Emotional Abuse
Arguments can be hard without being abusive. Learn the line between repair and punishment — contempt, silence, and fear as patterns.
Recognising Controlling Behaviour
Control often wears a mask of care. Learn how limiting behaviour shows up across time, money, body, and communication — and what to do next.
Isolation: When Relationships Become Smaller
When your world shrinks — fewer friends, family, hobbies — isolation may be a control tactic. How to notice it and reconnect safely.
Reading Lens
This is for people trying to understand the problem without euphemisms.
Some readers arrive here because they were bullied at school, work, or online. Some are dealing with gender-based violence, or supporting someone who is. Some are parents, carers, teachers, managers, peers, or friends. Some are trying to understand their own conduct honestly.
DBTG is meant to be useful across that whole picture — without collapsing every form of harm into one vague label.
- People being harmed need clarity, validation, and language that does not minimise what happened.
- Helpers need practical ways to respond rather than vague encouragement to "do something."
- Prevention work must speak to conduct, accountability, gendered power, and the causes of repeated harm.