"Read this if…" you want to know why Don't Be THAT Guy exists — not only as a learning hub, but as something that started when bullying hit close to home.
My name is Kobus Myburgh. I am writing this in my own words, because the project did not begin in a boardroom or a branding workshop. It began when my son was bullied.
Where it started
The idea for Don't Be THAT Guy took shape in 2018, after my son Jack was bullied at a previous school. I did not know how to fix everything at once. What I could do was research: read, listen, learn what helps, and try to turn that into something useful for families like mine.
For about two years I worked on that quietly — notes, presentations, half-finished website ideas. I kept stopping because I was unsure whether I was doing it well enough, or whether anyone would care. In 2021 I decided to put what I had out into the world anyway and see where it could go.
The short presentation story — the person at the wall, the chanting, the poke in the eye — came out of that same period. You can read that piece separately in Don't Be THAT Guy: The Story Behind the Name. This article is the other half: the real-life reason the presentation existed in the first place.
Who this project is for
Don't Be THAT Guy is meant to help everyone caught up in bullying — not only in theory, but in the messy reality of schools, homes, workplaces, and online spaces.
That includes:
- People being bullied, who need clarity, dignity, and practical ways to reach help
- People trying to help — parents, teachers, friends, colleagues, anyone willing to notice harm and not look away
- People who bully, who often need interruption and support to stop, not only punishment after the damage is done
The last group surprises some people. It should not.
Helping only the person being bullied is necessary — but on its own it can be like putting a bandage on a wound that keeps being reopened. Supporting victims matters deeply. So does reducing the behaviour that causes the harm in the first place. Lasting change usually needs both.
Most bullies are not cartoon villains who enjoy cruelty for its own sake. Many act from fear, insecurity, shame, or the examples they see around them. That does not excuse harm. It does explain why prevention has to be broader than blame alone.
Jack's story — briefly
Jack was only four when other children bullied him. At that age he could not understand why it was happening. As a parent, that kind of helplessness stays with you.
It took my wife Tanya and me months to find a school where Jack could feel safe again. He eventually joined Out of the Box Academy in Fourways, in the northern suburbs of Johannesburg, South Africa. There he flourished: friends, learning, and — for the most part — a child who was happy to go to school again.
None of that happened because of one dramatic moment. It took:
- Jack's own resilience
- long searches for the right school environment
- teachers and staff who understood what he needed
- countless hours of research, encouragement, and support on the days he did not want to go
At the time of writing the original version of this story, Jack was eight — doing far better, with a life that looked much more like what any child deserves.
Jack also has a younger brother, Henry, who later attended the same school and was cared for there by teacher Shannon and her team.
From one family's crisis to a public learning effort
Jack's experience did not create bullying as a problem. It forced me to stop treating it as someone else's issue.
What grew from that was not a hotline or a rescue service — DBTG is a learning hub: articles, language, and practical reading for people trying to understand harm earlier and respond better. When someone needs hands-on support, schools, employers, helplines, and trusted adults still matter most. DBTG's job is to help people recognise harm, think clearly, and know what kind of help to ask for.
The old site homepage also spoke to three kinds of visitor: people being bullied, people who bully, and people who want to stand against bullying. That framing still fits. What changed is the split of roles: learning lives here; operational routing to support services will live elsewhere when that product is ready.
What we are focused on now
Jack's past started the journey. The work is about the future.
If this project helps one child avoid feeling alone with bullying, that is a milestone worth keeping. If it helps adults recognise harm earlier, speak up sooner, or challenge conduct before it becomes a pattern, that is even better.
Bullying is harmful to everyone involved — including people who cause harm and never get helped to stop. Don't Be THAT Guy exists because I believe better language, earlier recognition, and braver bystanders can change that picture over time.
Where to read next
If this story brought you here for practical reading rather than history, these articles are good next steps:
- How Do You Recognise Bullying? — name the forms harm takes
- See Something, Say Something — why bystanders matter
- Warning Signs of Bullying — what to notice before harm escalates
- Ally to All — ordinary conduct that protects dignity around you
- Don't Be THAT Guy: The Story Behind the Name — the founding presentation story
A note on names
Jack and Henry are pseudonyms used to protect my children's identities. The experiences described are real.
Thank you for reading. If bullying has touched your life too — as a child, a parent, a teacher, or a bystander who wishes they had spoken up sooner — I hope this hub gives you something useful to hold onto.