"Read this if…" someone is bullying you, and you need practical ways to protect yourself while getting help that could make the behaviour stop.

Being bullied can make everyday places feel unpredictable. You might dread a particular corridor at school, a journey home, a group chat or the start of another shift. Even when the incidents seem small to somebody watching, living with the possibility of another one can be exhausting.

You should not have to organise your whole life around avoiding someone else's behaviour. Still, while you seek a proper response, there may be steps that help you feel less exposed.

The responsibility for bullying belongs to the person doing it. The responsibility for addressing it also belongs to adults and institutions with the power to intervene. The suggestions below are options, not tests you have to pass before you deserve support.

Start with what is happening

Bullying commonly involves unwanted aggressive behaviour, an actual or perceived power imbalance, and repetition or a likelihood of repetition. It may include threats, humiliating comments, repeated exclusion, rumour-spreading, physical harm or online targeting.

A single serious threat, assault, sexual incident or act of harassment can still require urgent attention even if it does not fit a particular definition of bullying. You do not have to work out the correct label before asking someone for help.

Try describing the conduct plainly: “Three people have blocked my way home twice this week” or “My manager repeatedly humiliates me in team meetings.” A concrete description gives someone who can act a starting point.

Tell someone who can act

If you can do only one thing today, consider telling a person who is likely to take your concern seriously.

For a learner, that might be a parent, caregiver, teacher, school counsellor, principal or another trusted adult. At work, it might be a manager who is not involved, an HR representative, a union representative or a designated complaints contact. Online, a platform's reporting tools may help, but they may not replace support from a school, employer or other responsible organisation.

You can begin simply:

“Something has been happening repeatedly, and I don't feel safe dealing with it alone. Can I tell you what's happened and ask what you'll do to help?”

You do not need perfect evidence or a polished explanation. Tell them what you know, how it has affected you and whether there is an immediate safety concern. If speaking is difficult, writing it down or asking a trusted person to go with you may help.

If the first person dismisses you or does not act, that does not settle the matter. Consider another responsible adult, a more senior contact or the institution's formal reporting or safeguarding process. Ask what action will be taken and when someone will update you. Keep a record of those responses if it is safe.

Find people who will stand with you

Being isolated can make bullying harder to cope with. One reliable connection can make a difference, whether that is a friend who walks with you after class, a colleague who checks in, a family member who listens or someone who can accompany you to report an incident.

You might ask a trusted person to:

• stay with you in a place or at a time when you feel vulnerable;
• help you explain what happened to an adult or manager;
• witness and accurately describe behaviour they actually saw;
• check in after a report, especially if you fear retaliation.

Choose people who will respect your privacy and safety. Nobody needs to confront the person bullying you or make a public spectacle of your experience to be useful.

Consider short-term safety adjustments

Sometimes moving with friends, choosing a better-supervised area or adjusting a route can reduce immediate exposure. South African education guidance includes considering safer areas and stronger adult supervision while a school addresses bullying.

These changes should be temporary protective options, not the entire answer. They may be impractical or unfair if they force you to lose access to classes, activities, work opportunities or friendships. A school or employer should consider what it can change about the environment and supervision, rather than relying only on you to disappear from places you have a right to use.

If a suggested change would isolate you, disrupt your life significantly or alert someone who has threatened you, discuss the risk with a trusted adult or appropriate professional before doing it.

Responding in the moment

There is no single response that works for every person or incident. The safest choice depends on who is involved, where you are and whether you can leave or summon help.

If it feels safe, a short statement such as “Stop. Don't speak to me like that” may communicate a boundary. You may instead decide to move towards other people, ask a staff member to intervene, or leave the encounter. You are not required to confront someone to prove you are brave.

Do not blame yourself if you freeze, cry, become angry or cannot think of the right words. Those are human responses under stress, and none makes the bullying acceptable.

Avoid retaliating to punish the other person. But protecting yourself from an immediate physical threat is different from taking revenge afterwards. If there is an actual or imminent threat, prioritise reaching safety and getting emergency help. Particular questions about lawful self-defence depend on the circumstances and applicable law.

When the bullying is online

Online bullying may involve group chats, gaming platforms, private messages, fake accounts or humiliating posts. Where safe, keep a factual record of ordinary abusive messages, including relevant dates, usernames and links. Report the conduct through the platform and, when connected to school or work, through the relevant institutional process.

You can consider muting notifications, changing privacy settings or blocking an account, depending on whether that could provoke further harassment or cause you to lose access to evidence. If a person is monitoring or threatening you, ask a trusted specialist or adult about safer options before making changes that could alert them.

Important exception: If sexual images involving a child are circulating, do not download, screenshot, copy or forward the images as evidence. Tell a trusted adult or appropriate safeguarding or law-enforcement authority, and report the content using the platform's process. You can record non-image details, such as where the content appeared and relevant usernames, without making new copies of it.

For more detailed guidance, see Cyberbullying: What Is It, and What Can You Do in the Learning Hub.

If you are a parent or caregiver

Your child may be embarrassed, frightened or worried that telling you will make the situation worse. Listen calmly, thank them for telling you and make it clear that the bullying is not their fault.

Ask what happened, whether they feel safe now and what they are worried might happen next. Contact the school through an appropriate teacher, senior staff member or safeguarding process. Ask about supervision, protection from retaliation and the plan for following up.

Avoid confronting another child or their family in anger, forcing an immediate meeting between the children or telling your child simply to ignore the behaviour. Support their involvement in decisions where possible, but do not make them responsible for managing the school's response.

If bullying happens at work

Bullying by a colleague or manager can affect your income and professional standing, which may make reporting feel particularly risky. Keep descriptions of incidents as factual as possible and find out what complaint procedures or employee-support channels are available.

If your manager is involved, consider a more senior manager, HR contact, union representative or another authorised reporting route. Ask how confidentiality, retaliation concerns and follow-up will be handled; do not assume anonymity can be guaranteed. Serious threats, discrimination or harassment may require specialist employment or legal advice under the rules that apply to your situation.

When more urgent help is needed

Seek immediate assistance when there is a serious threat of violence, a weapon, sexual abuse, significant injury or another immediate danger. Go towards safety if possible and contact local emergency services or a responsible adult who can respond at once.

If bullying has left you feeling unable to cope, afraid you might hurt yourself or overwhelmed by persistent distress, tell someone you trust and seek prompt professional support. You deserve care for the effect the bullying is having on you as well as action to stop the behaviour.

The response should not end with your report

A meaningful response may include supervision, separating people where needed, addressing harmful conduct, protection from retaliation and follow-up to check whether the behaviour has stopped.

You can ask: “Who is responsible for following this up? When will I hear back? What should I do if it happens again?”

If a proposed solution requires only you to move, withdraw or stay silent, you are allowed to ask what will be done about the person causing harm. Sometimes changing your own arrangements is the safest immediate option; it should not automatically replace accountability.

Final thought

When someone bullies you, it can feel as though every choice is yours to make: where to walk, what to say, which messages to ignore and how much to endure.

You can take sensible steps to protect yourself without accepting that the situation is yours alone to fix. Reach people who can act, ask for a response and keep asking for support if the behaviour continues.

You deserve to be safe in the places where you learn, work and spend your time.

Sources

These sources inform the practical guidance above. They do not guarantee a particular outcome in any individual case, and workplace pathways depend on local rules and procedures.

• South African Department of Basic Education — Bullying in schools — involving school leadership, safer supervised spaces, recording incidents, and not telling children merely to ignore bullying.
• UNICEF South Africa — How to talk to your child's school about bullying — working with schools and appropriate response procedures.
• UNICEF South Africa — Bullying: What is it and how to stop it — listening to children, reassuring them and coordinating with teachers.
• StopBullying.gov — What Kids Can Do — telling trusted adults, supportive companionship and moving away when unsafe.
• StopBullying.gov — Report Cyberbullying — documenting ordinary abusive content and using platform reporting tools.
• NCMEC — Take It Down FAQ — do not download or share child sexual imagery merely to submit it; seek appropriate safeguarding help.
• StopBullying.gov — Respond to Bullying — protecting children promptly and avoiding public interrogations or forced on-the-spot reconciliation.