"Read this if…" you want to understand where the name Don't Be THAT Guy comes from — and why a crude joke can still teach something serious about harm.
Long before this learning hub existed in its current form, the project began as a simple story told in a presentation about bullying. The story is fictional, but the pattern it describes is not.
The story
A person walks past a high wall and hears someone chanting:
"Seventeen… seventeen… seventeen…"
Curious, they look for the source. They find a small hole in the wall and peek through.
Immediately they feel sharp pain as someone on the other side pokes them in the eye. Stunned, unable to get over the wall, they walk away. As they leave, the chanting continues behind them:
"Eighteen… eighteen… eighteen…"
The person at the wall was not innocent because they were curious. The people on the other side were not harmless because it was "just a joke." Cruelty used curiosity against someone — and then turned that person into the next target.
Why this story matters
Bullying often works the same way:
- someone is drawn in, singled out, or made the audience
- harm is framed as humour, tradition, or "just how things are"
- bystanders learn to laugh, look away, or participate
- the person harmed is treated as the punchline
The name Don't Be THAT Guy is a refusal of that role. Do not be the person who pokes through the wall. Do not be the person who chants along. Do not be the person who turns someone else's pain into entertainment.
It is also an invitation to be better than the group when the group is wrong.
What this project became
What began as a short presentation grew into a wider learning effort: articles on recognition, allyship, cyberbullying, retaliation, warning signs, and the conduct that allows bullying to continue.
That presentation came first — but the human reason behind it came earlier still. If you want the fuller picture of how Don't Be THAT Guy started, read Our Story: how bullying affected my family, why the project tries to help victims, helpers, and people whose conduct needs interruption, and what we are working toward next.
The seventeen/eighteen story remains small. The point is not small at all.
Bullying is rarely solved by one dramatic speech. It is interrupted by clearer language, earlier recognition, better allies, and people willing to report harm instead of normalising it.
Where to go next in the hub
If this story landed for you, these articles may be useful next steps:
- How do you recognise bullying? — name the forms harm takes
- See something, say something — why bystanders matter
- Dealing with bullying — practical ways to stay safer while seeking help
- Ally to All — how ordinary conduct protects dignity around you
Final thought
You do not have to be cruel to belong. You do not have to laugh to be safe. And you do not have to handle someone else's harm alone.
Don't be that guy. Be the person who notices, speaks up, and helps connect harm to people who can respond.